a blog of sex & wistfulness

Anonymous asked: What's the worst part about being a man who loves women who never ends up staying? xo

The worst part about being a man who loves women who never end up staying is that I remember everything.

Love,
P 

Anonymous asked: What are your thoughts about TWC writers shamelessly flirting, dating, e-sexing each other?

I think it can be reaaaaally silly a lot of the time, but I honestly could not care less.

I mean, finding and connecting with someone who turns you on — mind, soul and body — because their writing resonates to you strikes me as a far more genuine connection than going to a bar and hoping the person you end up sharing a drink with has at least one thing in common with you… other than evenings spent enjoying alcohol, lower standards and/or desperation.

Love,
P 

(P.S. Is this really a thing? Why hasn’t anybody dated or e-sexed me?)

I, For One, Welcome Our New Yahoo Overlords

Seriously, am I the only one not flipping out over the $1.1B Yahoo! acquisition of Tumblr?

While I’m far from optimistic that Tumblr won’t eventually degrade the way Delicious and Flickr and other Yahoo acquisitions did (read also: “What happens after Yahoo! acquires you” by 37signals), I don’t see the injection of megabucks into Tumblr as a necessarily bad thing.

(Flickr is still pretty damn useable after all these years. Delicious has been pretty much replaced by practically a dozen services that does what it does way better. MyBlogLog is a joke and nobody took it seriously to begin with.)

We all know Tumblr’s revenue has been miserable at best — face it, 15 year old Whovians aren’t exactly who advertisers care about — and this deal might at least keep the site alive another four or five years where it might have had to face running out of cash by 2015 had it kept its own course.

Monetizing Tumblr in an intelligent way (ie. “selling ads to 15 year old Whovians”) is now the challenge in the post-acquisition era.

Many observers, particularly those who use Tumblr, foresee a crackdown on inappropriate content — particularly sexual content, which is ubiquitous across the site — to make the site more advertiser-friendly but I don’t see it happening in any particularly heavy way. A sexual content crackdown is almost guaranteed seriously affect the userbase and lead to widescale desertions: given that a social media platform is only as good as its users, this’ll bring Tumblr’s value down to practically zero.

What the present Tumblr team needs to do now is to reassure users that the Tumblr they know and love will remain the same for the foreseeable future. Internal Yahoo bureaucracy may cripple design and direction, as it has with just about every other acquisition it’s made in the past, but the crucial thing here is that those things don’t directly affect users or how users use the website.

Besides, let’s not forget, Yahoo used to have Geocities, the original home of cat gifs.

#373: tsunami sex

(I long for a standard courtship and romance that comes to two people slowly learning to like each other, first platonically then sexually, as opposed to the whirlwind romances of tsunami sexual encounters that have marked nearly all of mine; but that would mean actually allowing myself to think that they will stay. They never have.)

#372: An Adagio With Fingertips

You can always learn to please a woman by playing by ear. You can touch her here, there, and correspond your notes to her moans. Figure out her tenor and the tone and follow her from her throaty C to her shrieking A-sharp. Lie her instrument-flat on your bed, face her from the side, and use both hands to play her, bass and treble clef alike. Instinct will tell you how to play her. Carry her crescendos. Play softly around the thatch of hair over her mound. Press three fingertips hard on the coda of her neck. Accompany your fingers with the kisses of your mouth. Find her where she arches: kiss the forward curve of chest. Find her where she dips: kiss the gentle slope of her caving stomach when she inhales sharp. Wet your fingers in musical silt-slit of her delta; not just the tips of your fingers, but the sides of your fingers — what you want, what she wants, is an adagio with fingertips. So keep cadence, cross fingers in sync, let your rhythm bring the song to a climax. Standing ovation.

#371: On Love

Love is an overwrought thing. We work it out by hand, beating and hammering until there is no grain left, and so because everybody else has already wrought it out nobody is too impressed by the iron of that word.

In English the mere word ‘love’ is too broad an umbrella, gifting confusion and chaos onto those who interpret it one way or another. One man’s love is another’s lust. We see it in the way we use the word love. “I love my country. I want to make love to you. I’ll never love again.” Not always exclusive, but not always overlapping, either.

My mother tongue, Malay, is more generous in its preciseness. We hold a host of words for love —

Cinta, with a sensuous soft C to start, is hot-blooded and fierce. Cinta is passionate love. This is love where love is a thing I crave to describe so often in this blog. Where love is skin slapping against skin; hair bunched in hands; lips pressed to the nooks of your neck. Cinta is silk. Cinta is love that climaxes in overlapping throaty moans. 

But there is also Sayang, affectionate love, the love you share with those you care about. Sayang starts with saya: me, mine. Sayang is your heart pounding at you and swearing to protect that which is dear to you, to defend them at any cost. This is love where love is finding peace with your cheek to your lover’s chest, pacing exhales to the ebb and flow of their heart. Sayang is wool. Sayang is love that carries you to sleep.

And Ghairah, trepidation and terror trapped in the guttural ghost of the silent G, that’s love as anxiety and enthusiasm. Love is sometimes an ugly thing. Ghairah is the worry you feel when you love someone madly and fear you will lose them. Ghairah is love spun into dizzying anxiety. Ghairah is hemp. This is love where love is a drive home after a long journey away, and all you can think of is your lover’s arms, and may it always be yours to come home to.

jayarrarr replied to your post: You know what Tumblr needs? Following lists. Im…

clearly you just wanna whip your following dick out. i only follow like half that many blogs and now i feel inadequate. thanks.

Actually, isn’t a lower following count better? It’s all about the ratio after all. Your follower count is your penile length and your following count is your height. You don’t want to be the 6’11” guy with a 1” pecker, you want to be the 4’11” guy with the 10” wrecker.

Edit: jayarrarr is probably a 4’11” guy with a 5’ dick. FEET.

sexwithoutbodies replied to your post: You know what Tumblr needs? Following lists. Im…

people who reblog themselves fourteen times a day ;)

FOUR, not fourteen! Once for US night, once for Europe night, once for Australia night, once specially just for you.

You know what Tumblr needs? Following lists. I’m following 545 blogs, I want to be able to sort them by “writers I really genuinely like”, “writers I have to pretend to like”, “models”, “cuties”, “cool themed blogs”, “people I know in real life, why on earth are they on my sex blog”